I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
