remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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