Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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