Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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