I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
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Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
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It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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