i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
