last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
