The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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