She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This toilet bowl is my home.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
