you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
