ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
