Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
