I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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