I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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