Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They took my balls.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize