he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
