Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
