i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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