so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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