puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
