oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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