there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
