this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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