Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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