Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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