Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
