i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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