their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
