Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
