I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
