i would punch a child for taco bell
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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