You just made me feel so damn special
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
