just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize