Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
