I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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