I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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