there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
