your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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