Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize