I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
