I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
being pregnant is like rehab
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
