96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
