i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we're making bets on your personal life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
