i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
