I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Success! We fucked roommates!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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