is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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