Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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