Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
