i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
