Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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