I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
