I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
