so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
