Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
