No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
