i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
