The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
