My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
