Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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