Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
