i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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