smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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