Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
