You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
