He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize