were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize