I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
