Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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