Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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