I'm lost and stupid without you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
