I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
